None is Beautiful

Books without the letter 'e' (one actually exists).

Airline reservations and check-ins' with no tickets.

Classes without classrooms (or even the sight of a classmate or lecturer)

Exams without paper.

Restaurants with no menus'.

Exercise without equipment.

Beauty without make-up.

Service without servitude.

Love without pretense.

Sublime, no? (Feel free to add to the above)

The Non-Use of Customer Information

I've been waiting for more than 12 years. It still hasn't arrived.

Citibank knows more about my VISA spending than I do. One of the things they surely would've noticed (after a decade of producing my monthly report) is that each month I spend at least $300 on books (sometimes more).

And I've still been waiting.

For a free exclusive Citi-Borders bookclub membership (hmm, Citi-Borders - does have a ring to it, no?)

For an {X-amount} Konikuniya voucher

For a chance to make some money reviewing books for XYZ Publisher or newspaper

For a discount card to purchase even more books at a lower rate.

For announcements on upcoming book sales.

Or maybe a free book!

What are they waiting for? For me to switch to a local version of the Amazon.com Visa? Or to switch cards entirely? (Don't tempt me)

What's in a (Conference Paper) Name?

You're looking through the workshop and paper presentation titles. Your eyes fall upon names like:

• Shared visions and visualisation: Driving forces, individuals and teams
• Achieving sustained success
• Rethinking Agrulculture: a paradigm shift
• Establishing Connections among critical thinking, language proficiency and writing
• Applications of Edward de Bono's thinking methods in Malaysia

Yada yada yada. Titles like these constitute almost 80% of the agenda. What a breath of fresh air then to see headings like:

• 100 Kids, 100 Clouds, 100 Days
• Educating for the Unknown
• Tribethink vs. Worldthink
• Marks, Scribble and Draw
• Making Visible the Invisible

As in life, so in conferences - titles that stand out win.

(My own presentation titles for the 14th ICOT are at best above average: "The 6 Thinking Hats" and "Emergent Education: Exploring the 'Already' and 'Not Yet' of Learning").

The Salesman

The salesman was passionate, knew his product better than I knew the back of my thumb, was well-groomed and had a good voice. But I swear I wanted to dash from the room after about half an hour (but, out of the boundless courtesy of my Asian heart, decided to stay for the full 75 or so).

If he was working for my organisation, I'd have to remind him to NOT:

• dispense with the small talk inappropriately - now if the client wants to move on, fine and super-good, but if the client is doing the small-talking, it's plain yippee-doo-daa RUDE to jump straight into the sales pitch
• talk for 96% of the time - ever come across the illusion that more words equates to greater control of the situation? the operative word: il-lu-sion
• keep repeating himself - of course, unless you're an expert comedian or scholar how can you talk non-stop for more than an hour on one particular subject WITHOUT repeating yourself? and, most importantly, how can you expect folks to enjoy a monologue which could've been 50% shorter without loss of content?
• frequently employ emotive/subjective non-content fillers - e.g. "It is my passion to say this...", "All I want to do is give this away...", "I can't believe why some companies say No..." and other en-crap-sulating phrases
• start the slideshow really late - a full 45 minutes into the meeting, in fact; worse, the slideshow repeated much of what he said, wasn't all that great and he was reading from the slides (whilst continuing at least three of the bullet-points above)
• ignore asking even one question about the client and his institution's needs/wants/methods - this is worse than a date where the other person talks about only two people and you're not one of them

The item in question was a good (if incomplete) offering. I would've said Yes in a third of the time taken. I would've learnt more if the pitch from the reading the materials and viewing the slides myself.

Instead I was treated to a guy who cared too much about himself and his stuff - which is to say a depressingly ordinary dude.

Like the Bird on the Buffalo's back

A friend offered a hilarious solution when stuck in a traffic jam, "Hook your bumper to the car in front of you."

This isn't a bad idea, especially if you're a Kancil and the front vehicle is a bus or truck. It saves fuel, harms the environment less and could even earn the 'puller' a couple of bucks (and as long as it's lower than the value of gas you would've burned during the 1-2km crawl, why not cut your costs, make the other driver happy and sit back as your car moves automatically?).

Of course, issues abound, but I love the symbiosis the joke/idea dangles. It's the optimisation of economic allocation i.e. everybody wins.

One is reminded about the tie-ups between petrol stations and banks, or between shopping stores and credit cards or hotels and airlines. It's a good package made up of different interests coming together. Consumers who have no preference for competitor products would have every incentive to sign up.

If you list down the programs, persons, events and/or institution you come in contact with often, there'll certainly be one or two you can 'hook up' to. So think hard, act fast, and get yourself out of the jam asap.

Web 2.0 Marketing for Educational Institutions - What Should Happen Before

In considering an e-marketing strategy oriented around Web 2.0 technologies for educational institutions, it’s best - in line with the theme of Seth Godin's Meatball Sundaes - to go back to the overall ‘structures’ and ‘culture’ of the organisation and work from there to the gadgets and tools (e.g. blogs, twitter, facebook, the works). The spirit of a visionally transformed corpus must come first, then the flesh of technology will follow.

It would help to use Godin’s principles cum questions for Disney (see p.223-6 at the end of the book) :

1. Direct communication between producers and consumers – after students fill up the forms or make an enquiry or initiate the ‘first contact’ with XYZ College, do they hear from it again in a way which isn’t intrusive and which in fact brings delight? Do these potential and on-going clients receive anticipated, personal and relevant messages (a Godin mantra)? And, of course, do they receive it in the medium they prefer (e.g. some may not like email)

2. Direct communication between consumers and consumers - the New Marketing is consumer-driven i.e. ultimately the students are the Marketing Department because their Word-of-Mouth is more powerful than all the brochures and flyers. What is XYZ doing to encourage student reviews, student influence, student sharing? This goes beyond ‘friend2friend’ promotions and must go deeper to ‘unofficial sharing’ (see no. 3 below)

3. Amplification of the voice of the consumer and independent authorities – how much does XYZ respect the influence and voice of everyone who visits our sites, of our students, our partners, our clients, etc.? Does XYZ ‘host’ any platform or space as a way of allowing and encouraging peer reviews of educational products? Is XYZ seen to ‘amplify’ the voice of the average man on the Web?

4. Stories spread, not facts – what’s the ‘story’ of XYZ's next educational offering? What’s the ‘story’ of its new lecturers, its next events, its latest branch? What will people be spreading after they attend or are exposed to its latest function, PR event, communique, etc.? (Note: here is where YouTube, Facebook and Blogs could be most effective, because every upload is a potential story – colleges need to give people a reason to include it into their RSS feeds)

5. Extremely short attention spans – how is XYZ tackling the fact that students and consumers nowadays have extremely short attention spans? (Tip: send shorter and more frequent messages instead of longer and less frequent ones); this is also where content must always catchy, helpful and worth remembering! Again, people need a reason to ‘come back’

6. Tuning in to ‘spare time’ – why would the average student want to think about XYZ college in his/her spare time? What would make the college attractive/engaging enough for young adults to want to make room in their minds for XYZ marketing/community material after classes?

7. The Long Tail (mass customization/diversity) – what is XYZ doing about the customization of education? Instead of giving ‘fixed’ educational offerings to students, can they be allowed to choose what and how they wish to study? Can XYZ raise the level of student-selection and student-design of programs?

8. Google and Search Engine – apart from manipulating search engines such that XYZ ‘shows up’ more often, can the college offer great experiences which many students will talk, blog and/or leave updates about thus leading to more serach-result pages with XYZ at the top? What can the college do to encourage more people to hyper-link to the college’s website or blogs? (Tip: provide online education!)

9. Triumph of the Big Ideas – what redefinition or reinvention or re-conceptualisation is XYZ pioneering? Is XYZ known as an innovator, constantly coming up with new products to get people talking?

10. Shifts in Scarcity and Abundance – what is so rare that people intuitively value (e.g. clean open and creative space)? What’s so abundant that people hardly bother anymore (e.g. classes!)? How does XYZ College stack up in the abundance/scarcity ratio and is it focusing on improving this ratio?

Godin’s point is that unless the above are dealt with effectively, unless the ‘spirit’ of the organisation has changed, simply adding more gadgets or Web 2.0 tools may be nothing more than a façade (which people can very easily ignore anyway). So it’s best to get the substance and culture right – the technology will take care of itself.

The substance is key; the gadgets merely the key-chain.

For Whom the Screen Plays

The Megah Medical Specialist Center where I take my kids and wife for treatment is a nice place. Efficient. Squeaky clean. Top doctors. A comfortable waiting area - with a nice flat-screen TV equipped with ASTRO cable.

But guess what channel is always playing? TV3. Apparently Malay dramas come on between 6pm and 8pm, about the same time parents and patients start filling up the waiting area.

Now here's the thing: Almost none of the waiting parents are watching this drama. We'd much prefer to watch Discovery Channel or Asian Food Channel or something else.

Nobody likes to watch the Malay drama. And yet nothing but the Malay drama is on.

They obviously haven't asked the question of the year: For whom, in the name of every injection ever given, is the flat-screen for? The paying clients or the nurses holding the remote control?

Baby Parking

TESCO's at The Curve probably isn't the only place in the Klang Valley that has parent-with-babies' parking, but it's certainly the first place where an attendant, seeing me park my car quite a distance from the entrance, approached me to tell me of the special lots.

What can I say? I'll have to take Melody out more often (grin).

Free (again)

"One strategy for making an impression with customers, especially when rivals insist on nickel-and-diming them, is to give away something that other companies charge for - or wouldn't think of offering in the first place.

The investment can be small; the returns can be priceless. A little generosity can go a long way." (Taylor & LaBarre, Mavericks at Work)

I concur.

Domino's Pizza-Ploy

My dad was over for dinner and we ordered Domino's Pizza. I phoned the hotline, asked about the promotions and this was what I heard:

• Option A:  2 Large Pizzas, plus this-and-that ($64)
• Option B:  2 Large Pizzas ($50)
• Option C:  1 Large Pizza, 1 Regular Pizza($50)

Look carefully at options B and C - now, who in his right all-screws-in-place mind would ever take Option C? Assuming I didn't mis-hear him, was this a promo typo by Domino's? Were the Marketing folks out to (chicken?) lunch when they designed this?

Or were they exploiting behavioural economics? Did Domino's set it up to make it virtually impossible to refuse Option B, thus sealing the sale asap? Did they anticipate that clients would be swaying between Option A and B and so built in a no-brainer to push the customer to B and ensuring their (instant!) satisfaction in the selection?

When you think about it, the answer's pretty certain. Domino's is an international pizza chain. The chances of them offering bad Marketing options (in the form of Option C) are close to zilch. Instead they have:

• made a good and fast(!) sale ($50 for two flattened pieces of dough, tomato sauce, olives, cheese and some slices of salami and pepperoni is in a real sense a rip-off)
• made the customer believe he's paid for great value, and most importantly...
• made the customer believe he's a wise purchaser!

What, then, would be the chances of a repeat sale after this?

Every Person a Potential Guest

The next time you plan to check-in at a 5-star hotel in Malaysia, try this: Dress in your sub-casual worst (preferably a shirt with two unintentional holes glaring out), uncomb your hair, lose the jewelry, hide your baggage, put on the fresh-off-the-boat look and try to walk like Gandhi.

If you're lucky, you'll arrive at the lobby at around the same time as some dude who looks like a guest of the White House.

Now comes the fun part: Observe their treatment of you, the way they look (or don't), their enthusiasm, etc. Chances are, they'll speak to you as if you were an applicant for the janitor's position and/or they'll be smooching up the other guy whislt making it clear they'll need some time before they get to you - up to the point where you tell them you have a room reservation AND THAT you'd appreciate some service please.

Merely human psychology? To judge based on appearances? Well, in Singapore - at least at the Meritus Mandarin - I'm told everyone gets the same high-quality package of eye-contact, smiles and can-I-help-you?s'.

That hotel, at least, has allowed the perception issues to be dealt with by the security folks, not the people serving the guests.

The Kean Fatt Product

Does product matter anymore? In an age of advertising and Nikes' and iPods', it's tough to find examples where product quality hasn't become a function of promotion wizardry i.e. where people pay good money for an item independently of the buzz/hype that surrounds it.

So I'm glad to report that I paid RM5.50 for a normal (not big) bowl of pork noodles this morning. That's something like RM1.50 more than the standard price.

But after a few spoonfuls, it's clear why my bowl cost more than 30% above the market rate. It's the same reason why, at 10.00am, there was already a dozen or so customers at any given minute parking all over the crammed road, ordering.

• the soup was tastier
• the meat slices were juicier
• the liver pieces were chunkier
• the gizzard was nastier (smile)
• the noodle portion didn't feel like a sushi-serving

The Place sucked (smack in the middle of cross-junction, see map). There was no Promotion (except for blog-posts like this and good'ol Malaysian word-of-mouth). The Price doesn't encourage demand. Even the People didn't seem very interested in 'customer relationship management'.

That's it. A great Product.

(Re)Making the News

NTV7 News does a viewer poll every evening.

The audience is asked to give a YES/AGREE or NO/DISAGREE answer (via SMS) to a given question (e.g. "Will Dr. Mahathir's re-entry into UMNO be good for the Opposition?" and so on).

The rationale is clear: To keep viewers tuned in until the news end, so viewers won't be hooked to another channel for good. Judging from results, at least some viewers are responding.

But isn't it a little lame? I mean, why should anyone care what answers the viewers prefer? Or let's phrase this another way: How can we make more people care about the results? How about:

- making the forthcoming programs dependent on the votes (a'la American Idol?) - maybe viewers can vote on the importance or quality of the news items presented? Perhaps viewers can state their preferences of news topics (e.g. typhoons, Obama, ISA, etc.)?

- offering prizes (a'la EPL's Man of the Match contest?) for, say, the most catchy response to the news items? Or for a remarkable newsworthy photo?

- providing an opportunity for viewers themselves to report on selected news items?

- offering a platform for viewer comments on the news items? Like a running multi-commentary at the side-bar?

Customer Levels and Leverage

You've probably got some regular clients. These are regular folks, except they don't always appear very enthusiastic about your services or stuff.

They keep the revenue coming but they don't share ideas, they don't attend your dos', they hardly return your calls/emails, they hardly recommend you to their friends and they sure as hell don't upgrade.

You can live with this, but why should you?

Maybe we can think about treating customers they way Accenture treats its consultants i.e. reach a certain 'level' (e.g. Senior Manager) by a given time or you're out.

Dell/Microsoft has a pleasant way of doing this. Go with the latest Windows Vista or i. get a truly cheapskate system or ii. find another vendor. Citibank, too. Upgrade to the Silver or your annual fee waivers will stop (and who'd want to pay $70 a year to go into debt?).

Some churches as well. Develop into a cell-group leader within 2 years or else....

As with the Citibank case, that's the beauty about charging fees you really don't need to collect - they can always be used as leverage. And if you've got good leverage (and, hopefully, services your customers can't afford to do without), why, it helps.

Cash 4 Kind

Daimler-Chrsyler (Malaysia) has a policy on Medical Leave I've never come across: Personnel are entitled to $1,500 should they manage a year without M.C.s'

The numbers certainly add up. An average post-fresh grad salary does come up to about $100-150 per day and MC entitlement is about a dozen days a year.

So a person who works all year-round rather than stay sick at home certainly 'saves' the company around $1,500. And the higher the person's salary, the better the trade-off for the company.

What's worth 'milking' is creative ways to think of cash-for-kind.

• What would a company be willing to pay its employees to reduce their official lunch-hours? (Might be relevant especially for factory workers, although from an ergonomical, humanitarian point of view I wouldn't recommend this)
  
• What should be charged to a person who takes up more than X amount of time in delivering his report at a meeting? Or for talking beyond the alloted time?
  
• What might the local town council be willing to give motorists who don't commit single traffic/parking offense in a year? (This is VERY different from the police giving discounts on summons...*eyes-rolling*)
  
• What might a division head be willing to reward an employee who receives the best peer reviews? (This goes beyond "Employee of the Year" awards and might apply to anything from Most Helpful Email, Kindest Remark, Most Innovative Idea, etc.)

Roti Bola

The scenario is familiar: Close to 15 tables, about a dozen of which are occupied with only one patron who orders a single teh, or kopi, panas (if you don't know what these are, write me).

This is weekend football night at the mamak restaurant at my apartment.

We, the customers, are all there to watch the game. We're generally not hungry. All we want to do is sit and enjoy flat-screen English Premier League. Our one beverage order is a (really cheap) grunt of reciprocity.

It's not a pretty sight for the manager, who maybe comforts himself by saying well at least I still have customers. Of course he does. And yet I imagine it would make him more comfortable if he labelled, bannered and declared Football Night as special, giving an occasion to offer any of the following promotions:

• A special menu whose items are 20-30% cheaper than normal
• 'Set Dinner' or 'Set Supper', $5.55 for noodles/rice, roti and one beverage
• 10% off the (usually) pricey steak or chicken chops
• Special dish just for Football Night (maybe mini-footballs in the form of powdered meat-balls?)
• Buy-3-get-1-free
• New 'Roti Bola' (to complement Roti Pisang, Roti Bom, Roti Telur, Roti Sardin, Roti Planta?)

These would be *especially* for the weekends, say, between 9pm and midnight. If people ask, he can say it's special and he loves serving lots of good lower-priced food on soccer night.

And if people say it's nothing more than a gimmick, why, he should just wink right back.

Google Simplicity

Did Google do a boo-boo? No Google Toolbar in Chrome? I can't even do a simple search within a site.

Harry McCracken's analysis concluded that the most widely used Google application is its Toolbar (you don't use it? where have you been?).

The thing about Google is: They tend to include whatever's really necessary. Which is why their famous 'start-page' is so (famously) bare. It just gives you what you need. If you want more, you ask/click for it.

In a world of infinite choices, its refreshing to see power-houses like Google stand out by accentuating simplicity and leveraging public opinion and word-of-mouth (remember how gmail spread? only if existing users chose to share their free accounts).

Still, they gotta clear of unforced errors like the lack of a toolbar!

Reinvention

Check out Coke's new coming-soon designs. Doesn't look anything like the traditional red.

That's re-invention i.e. doing something so new, daring and 'outrageous' the people gasp (and even curse at times).

We all gotta de-invent and re-invent ourselves every now and then.

Especially if you're a mamak restaurant facing competition from newly opened Chinese hawker stalls across the road.

Or if you're a super-store like TESCO (who tells customers, "Come in, take your time, enjoy the aisles, spend an hour shopping for groceries") facing competition from stealthy, nimble medium-sized stores, whose value-proposition is, "Come in, get your stuff, get out - in 10 minutes or less".

Or if you're a fading political party about two steps away from losing huge majorities (and especially if you've recently suffered a landslide defeat).

Or if you're a traditional church losing your youth members.

Because even God does it. He reinvented with Abraham (and aging nobody), with Moses (a member of the Egyptian household, i.e. the enemy), with David (a sherpherd boy), with Paul (a violent persecutor) and certainly with Jesus, the crazy Nazarene born in a manger.

A New Kind of Marketing

Am halfway through Seth Godin's Meatball Sundaes, a great book on the New Marketing.

One of Godin's advice is: Stop making what you want to sell, and start making what people want to buy.

This requires, among other things(!), that:

• We need to be tuned in what people are talking about (which usually entails getting plugged in Web 2.0)
• We need to stop thinking 'masses' and start imagining 'special communities' interested in what we have to offer
• We need to get them help us make what they want (a.k.a. collaboration, customisation, etc.)
• We need to 'pop up' whenever they talk about a certain product or service (this usually means having something special enough for people to mention)

Selling to Folks Far Away

We need to imagine our markets to be far...further...much further away from the ones we're presently serving.

And I don't mean only if you're selling canned drinks or cars. I mean even - especially - if you're in the 'service industry' and you're small time at the moment.

Even if you're a dentist, a lecturer, a mechanic, an event organiser, an accountant.

Assume that reaching clients thousands of miles way was necessary for business survival in, say, two years' time, what would you do now? Assume everyone else was serving multiple continents, who would you talk to in a hurry?

Visiting the nearest, soonest, Web biz conference might be a start. But make you pick a good one (smile).